| Paleontausage | Study of fossilized meat products |
|
| Pastramiandnavystores | Where you buy government surplus spiced beef | |
| Pelicanger | Large-billed bird in a rage | |
| Pendulumberjack | Someone who swings from tree to tree, and cuts them down | |
| Perpendiculous | Standing upright and looking stupid | |
| Perplexicology | The study of puzzling or worrying words. Alternatively, the study of non-existent words by people who should be worried about themselves | |
| Phlegmarald | A particularly vile shade of green | |
| Pienocerous | Meat product with a very hard crust | |
| Platyput-U-up | A spare bed with webbed feet (See Divangaroo) | |
| Plunderbar | Really good German swag | |
| Prambuie | Liqueur for the very young | |
| Pregneighbour | Similar to Annihileighbour, but you don't blow her up | |
| Presbyterious | A church which doesn't tell you which demonimation it is | |
| Ptarmageddon | The end of the world for a Scottish game bird | |
| Pterodactypical | Just like a Cretaceous flying reptile | |
| Pubmarine | Underwater hostelry (See Scuberty) | |
| Pyramidge | A large regular pile of Egyptian insects |
